Every time Im confronted with someone who asks me what am I doing after graduation, I say: "nothing for a while", no one seem to get or understand it, the sign of confusion simultaneously being shown with curiosity can be easily detected in their eyes. I would want to elaborate more but I thought it would be better to write it down in order to be as detailed and as accurate as It should be. Then they would be able to understand why I simply have nothing (on the scale of what people think these days of as achievements and accomplishments) and decide to do nothing for a bit yet I am the happiest person probably alive.
What has the world come to? everyone is running around jumping from one degree to another, from one job to another, from an interview to another, from certificates to another, why are they doing that? are they driving their passion or being driven by it?
If you were thinking money, you're 80% wrong, if you were thinking passion? you're 65% wrong. The answer can be easily found in one place and I would like to call it the "Library of Memories" and that can be found in our brains.
To begin with, let me start by asking you, how many times have you been encouraged for doing something good? how many times have you been discouraged for doing the opposite? do you know your fears? if so how many? how many shocking experiences have you had? how many memories are sticking there in the back of your mind? how many times have you been in love? how many times have you been alone? how many of these instances you don't remember? AND the most important question of all, how much is your mind affected by all of the above questions and more?
Psychology X The General Idea: Everyone feels the need to be accepted and loved, starting from the moment when our conscious wakes up when we are kids, our parents try to teach us "the good" and "the bad" by praising and punishing (in different varying ways) praising gives you love, which makes you happy, punishing forbids it and makes you feel lonely, and thats not a good feeling most is eventually programmed not to fall into. like any tree it starts from a seed, and like anything big it starts small. Now, we do not only grow up with our parents, we also grow up in a community in which every one and everything in it contributes to our idea of "good" and "bad" and we of course tend to do the (what we conclude as) good in order to fit in and avoid loneliness.
Why was this created? our parents are humans, they needed a way to control us, when we used to shout a lot when we were kids, parents couldn't handle it anymore so they used a method of punishment, thats one example. This is not only applied to our parents, but the government as well, what is the government other than a group of humans the same as me and you with normal flaws who are trying to control a society, a country and millions of people in general?
These rules that people call good and bad that we are being confined with since we were children develop certain constrains in our minds, we simultaneously feel bad when we think of something we call bad, and vice versa. This general lifestyle over the years creates something like an emotional hole lets call it Scumbag hole; an emotional black hole, and as it is known in the universe that black holes suck energy in, and whenever it does it gets bigger and bigger. And that is exactly what we are experiencing, some are aware of it and some are not.
Scumbag hole is planted in our emotional life when we first are kids, grows with us over time, sadly Scumbag hole is very demanding, in order to survive with it and be able to live with ourselves and the community we always have to keep it satisfied by feeding it stuff, these stuff are what we know as (what I think of as false achievements): school, university, further studies, friends, marriage, kids, first job, second job, promotion, cars, houses, thousands of dollars, millions of dollars, etc.. etc.. and whenever it eats, it gets bigger and harder to satisfy, and if it is not satisfied, we start feeling all the things that first created it like feeling bad, feeling excluded, feeling discouraged, feeling like a failure, and feeling unworthy.
Fine, if you are satisfied with this and have absolutely no problem go ahead, keep feeding your Scumbag hole, but what might this lead you to? like a donkey following a carrot on a stick stuck on its head (you're thinking of a donkey as something bad, see? this is one of things Im talking about, am I insulting anyone? no, because simply I abandoned the idea of a donkey being less worthy of an animal than others, and we are after all classified under the same animal kingdom) again, like that donkey you will keep on eating carrots (false happiness and false feeling of fullfillness), stay fulfilled for sometime, go hungry again then chasing another carrot. You will reach a point where this stick collapses and you will open your eyes wondering "where the hell am I? why am I here?" and then you will go into this phase of questioning about life, people, the universe, etc.. etc.. making you feel maybe depressed and demotivated, and you realy dont want to enter that phase. When you start having kids, you will discover that you are obliged to make them happy and make them feel safe and teach them how to survive in the world, so you will end up working just for money, giving the money to support your children, having less time to satisfy your scumbag hole, start feeling depressed for that, and the most critical point, teaching your children the good and bad you learned so that they can survive in the world just the same way you did because thats the only way you know how. Thus, continuing generations with this false education. and your whole life will be around avoiding falling into and satisfying that scumbag emotional hole.
You are now wondering about where is the practicality and the realism in this article. Well of course, we all need to after all work and do something in order to get money and survive in this world. But how many of us feel completely happy and satisfied while doing that? how many of us appreciate small things in life? how many of us appreciate all people? how many of us use their full potential when doing a task? how many of us talk, work, have fun, sympathize with full passion? how many of us feel peace inside them in very critical times? what if I told you that if you heal yourself from this Psychology X, not only will the effect of Scumbag hole will be in control, but you will have freedom that can only be suppressed by the power of the universe, you will be connected to yourself, others and the world around you in a very tangible way, you will chose what do you want to do whether it was working as a fisherman and living a simple life or pursuing knowledge out of curiosity or pursuing a crazy dream you've always had inside you, in other words, the sky will truly be your limit. Life will be like a dream, and don't you always want to do crazy stuff you wouldn't do in real life while you're dreaming? and no, you won't lose touch of reality. and most importantly, peace and happiness will be your eternal friends. Its truly a state of mind that will give you infinite power. you will not be driven by anything, instead, you will be the one who's driving your life. and money will matter less because your happiness will not be dependent on it.
Therefore comes my answer to that common question: nothing :) I want to live, be happy and enjoy the peace I am in, until I am used to it and make sure its engraved in me then after that, I will chose and be very picky with what I will dedicate my time to or at least until my parents go crazy ;)
How to do it?
1- Start by facing your fears, learn from them they re trying to tell you a message and the answer is always found in the past situation that triggered this fear.
2- Know what makes you weaker and learn from them, also the answer can be found in the past incident that triggered this thing that makes you weak.
3- Ask yourself about the truth of things, for example? is the donkey really bad? why? and try to think in a way that will give you a neutral opinion when you think of the word donkey.
4- And like the donkey example, do that to yourself about yourself, and love yourself for God's sake.
Things that you might attack me with and their answers:
**How do I know if I have a scumbag hole?
Concentrate and feel yourself, Ask yourself this and imagine it being real, if you would lose everything you have that you love and make you feel good right now, will you feel peaceful? if yes ask yourself this and imagine it, if you lost everything and you are placed in a group of people who have everything you had, will you be peaceful? no is the scream of your scumbag hole.
**I work to make money and live.
Yes! and that is very important! but do you feel peaceful and happy in every second while you're working? or are you just feeding your ego? (Scumbag hole)
and most importantly, will you be in peace if you lost everything you had right now? if the answer is yes then continue what you're doing.
**Not everyone has the time and money for this kind of change.
read the article again, ull understand what I mean.
**Are you saying people shouldn't study at all? or go to universities and get degrees?
OF COURSE NOT! these are very powerful tools that would help you achieve what you desire. but the question is, where are your desires coming from and what are they truly are? from your true selfless peaceful self, or your scumbag hole? will you only be doing your job? or working peacefully to achieve your dream job?
**My dream job is to be the king of the world, and I am working towards it.
Good for you! but selflessly speaking, what do you plan to get when you reach that position? if you think of your dream position and imagine yourself happy and fulfilled, its true that you will be motivated to work harder, its true that you will feel accomplished at the end, but working towards these goals and imagining happiness at comfort at what we imagine to be the end of the road is a complete proof of a false perception caused by the emotional hole I was talking about, and you will have this feeling of happiness but it will eventually die away.
Thank you for reading,